{"id":2684,"date":"2020-10-12T03:21:00","date_gmt":"2020-10-12T03:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.osmosis.org\/blog\/?p=2684"},"modified":"2024-09-24T17:34:10","modified_gmt":"2024-09-24T17:34:10","slug":"coping-with-sudden-loss-in-medical-school","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.osmosis.org\/blog\/coping-with-sudden-loss-in-medical-school","title":{"rendered":"Coping With Sudden Loss in Medical School"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_80 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">In This Article<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.osmosis.org\/blog\/coping-with-sudden-loss-in-medical-school\/#Sharing_my_Medical_School_Journey_with_Dad\" >Sharing my Medical School Journey with Dad<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.osmosis.org\/blog\/coping-with-sudden-loss-in-medical-school\/#Mock_Practical_Day_More_Than_a_Practice_Test\" >Mock Practical Day: More Than a Practice Test<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.osmosis.org\/blog\/coping-with-sudden-loss-in-medical-school\/#The_First_Few_Weeks_How_to_Cope\" >The First Few Weeks: How to Cope<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.osmosis.org\/blog\/coping-with-sudden-loss-in-medical-school\/#Your_Most_Helpful_Resource_Time\" >Your Most Helpful Resource: Time<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>Adjusting to the rigors of medical school is a challenging process. Imagine having to face one of the most difficult hurdles of your life during that adjustment: the sudden loss of a parent. Today on the Osmosis blog, Lois Sharpe, a medical student, shares how she coped with the sudden loss of her father last year.&nbsp;<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The journey through medical school is a challenging yet rewarding process that requires one to make adjustments, even when facing tragedy. Having a strong support system is crucial to face those challenges successfully, whether that system includes close friends, family, or classmates.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Last year, when I suddenly lost my dad, I relied on my support system to sustain me as I processed his death. With that support\u2014and, most importantly, with time\u2014I was able to finish the school year while also allowing myself space to grieve. Given the uncertainty of the COVID-19 pandemic, some of you may have already lost loved ones and may need advice with coping. Here is my story on how I dealt with a major loss in the middle of medical school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Sharing_my_Medical_School_Journey_with_Dad\"><\/span>Sharing my Medical School Journey with Dad<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In the weeks leading up to my first mock practical exam, I spoke regularly with my dad about my medical school journey thus far. &nbsp;He loved hearing me talk about all things medical school, in part because he had spent the last ten years as a caregiver for his father\u2014my chronically ill grandfather who lived in my dad\u2019s hometown in Florida. &nbsp;Because of this experience, my dad knew all sorts of medical lingo and would say, \u201cOh, so that&#8217;s why that happens!\u201d when I explained something that I just learned in class.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These conversations grounded me, helping me see how my medical school learnings would benefit all those around me, including the ones that I loved most.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">On an ordinary Friday night, we had another one of those conversations that I cherished. \u00a0I shared with my dad how I\u2019d been preparing for a mock practical exam, which I\u2019d take that next morning, and how excited and nervous I was to regurgitate all the anatomical information that I\u2019d been absorbing over the last six weeks. \u00a0When we said goodnight, I had no idea what the next twenty-four hours would hold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"700\" height=\"467\" src=\"https:\/\/www.osmosis.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/09\/image_917292.png\" alt=\"Lois with her dad, both smiling.\" class=\"wp-image-2686\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.osmosis.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/09\/image_917292.png 700w, https:\/\/www.osmosis.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/09\/image_917292.png?resize=300,200 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Mock_Practical_Day_More_Than_a_Practice_Test\"><\/span>Mock Practical Day: More Than a Practice Test<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The day of the mock practical didn\u2019t start off too well: I overslept my alarm and had to hustle to start my 45-minute long commute. I arrived late to the test, but calmed down and caught my breath soon after as I was able to catch up with the group and finish the exam on time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Despite facing some fatigue after the mock practical wrapped up, and despite it being a clear and temperate Saturday afternoon, I decided to stay on campus and study in the library to prepare for the upcoming written exam that was a few days away. &nbsp;A few hours into studying, I started getting texts from my aunt and cousins. The messages were vague: \u201cI\u2019m always here if you need me, Lois. Love you!\u201d I had a feeling something was up, so I called my dad to see what was going on. No answer. I didn\u2019t think it was anything unusual, as Dad often worked out at the gym on Saturdays and wouldn\u2019t answer his phone until he returned home.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then, I received a call, which appeared on my phone as being from a major Florida hospital. I picked up, confused, and said \u201cHello?\u201d &nbsp;It was the hospital\u2019s chaplain. He knew my name and was asking for my mom and my aunt\u2019s phone number.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Even more confused now, I called Dad again to get some clarification. No answer again. Finally, I ended up calling Mom and asked her what was going on. She said, \u201cLois, you should come home. There\u2019s something I need to tell you.\u201d At that point, something in my gut told me that something bad had happened. I thought to myself: did Dad get into a car accident? Or worse\u2026 did he die? The latter idea felt like a punch in the stomach, and it took every fiber of my being to not speed down the interstate as I drove home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When I finally got home, Mom told me to put my things down and come over to her. \u201cLois, I\u2019m so sorry, but your dad passed away this morning.\u201d No one wanted to tell me until I was safe at home. No one knew what had happened\u2026 only that he was fine the day before, which I knew from our conversation the day before, and that he didn\u2019t wake up the next day.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_First_Few_Weeks_How_to_Cope\"><\/span>The First Few Weeks: How to Cope<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Initially, coping with my father\u2019s sudden death was difficult, to say the least. It\u2019s difficult losing a parent alone, but losing one unexpectedly, and in the middle of medical school, was jarring. However, after a pep talk from my mom, I was determined to not let this interfere with my education\u2014 Dad was so proud of me for working towards my dream of becoming a physician. There was no way I was going to let him, Mom, or any other member of my family down.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I had coped with death during school before (a high school friend died from cancer). So, I knew not to stay silent or isolate myself. Not long after the initial shock of losing my dad started to dissipate, I reached out to my school\u2019s counseling office and professors. They responded with compassion and understanding, allowing me to postpone the written exam until the end of the block. My professors also provided additional assistance, such as offering one-on-one review sessions and regular check-ins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Indeed, the most important thing to have during the grief process is people.<em>&nbsp;<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do not let yourself be alone. Use every resource at your disposal.&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.osmosis.org\/blog\/2020\/05\/27\/how-we-can-have-each-others-backs-during-difficult-times\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">My incredible classmates<\/a>, school counselors, faculty, other family members, lifelong family church friends, and most of all, my mom, formed an incredible support system. Ask your classmates for help with schoolwork whenever you get back to it, and build healthy friendships so that you won\u2019t be alone. I<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Know that there will be ups and downs over the next several months where you\u2019ll be fine one minute, then something will randomly remind you of your lost loved one and you won\u2019t be fine. Know that this is a completely normal part of the grief process and that it\u2019s OK to feel those ups and downs. Being in medical school requires resilience, but don\u2019t feel inclined to think of yourself as invincible. We\u2019re all human.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do recognize that it\u2019s also important to maintain a focus on your life, not allowing yourself to become too down emotionally. This is where those healthy friendships come in handy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To help with studying, find ways that you can relate the content to something that you\u2019re very interested in. Not only will that help with learning, but it will also help keep your mind on your goals. Journaling, meditation, and if you\u2019re religious, reading religious texts and prayer also help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Find aspects of your life that make you happy. Do you enjoy playing music? Writing? Hiking? Find a hobby that you enjoy that will allow you to focus on something positive so that you don\u2019t get too down. Take a few minutes each day to remind yourself that you have a purpose on this Earth.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Your_Most_Helpful_Resource_Time\"><\/span>Your Most Helpful Resource: Time<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One of the most important pieces of advice I received was from my mom and one of the school counselors: \u201cGrief from the death of a parent never really goes away\u2026 it changes over time, but it does get better.\u201d A year later, I can say that this is absolutely true. You will always miss your lost loved one. However, as time passes, your ability to look back at the memories with your loved one with a smile increases. When I look at my Dad\u2019s old military awards or pictures of me and him now, I smile and laugh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Time will always be on your side when it comes to healing from grief.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"700\" height=\"467\" src=\"https:\/\/www.osmosis.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/09\/image_c97270.png\" alt=\"Lois with her mom and a quote about grief not going away but things do get better.\" class=\"wp-image-2687\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.osmosis.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/09\/image_c97270.png 700w, https:\/\/www.osmosis.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/09\/image_c97270.png?resize=300,200 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>About Lois Sharpe<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Lois Sharpe is an MD2 at&nbsp;<\/em><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.msm.edu\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Morehouse School of Medicine<\/a><\/em><em>. She\u2019s originally from Fayetteville, Georgia. When she\u2019s not studying, she enjoys nature, hiking, cooking\/baking, performing music, Netflix, and re-watching her favorite show Avatar: The Last Airbender and the sequel, The Legend of Korra. An interesting fact about Lois: she was a \u201cmicropreemie\u201d, born at 24 weeks, weighing 1 lb 3 oz. Lois is interested in specializing in pediatrics.&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>___________________<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em><strong><em>Try Osmosis today! Access your&nbsp;<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.osmosis.org\/login?type=create\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>free<\/em><em>&nbsp;<\/em><em>trial<\/em><\/a><em>&nbsp;and find out why millions of clinicians and caregivers love learning with us.<\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Adjusting to the rigors of medical school is a challenging process. Imagine having to face one of the most difficult hurdles of your life during that adjustment: the sudden loss of a parent. Today on the Osmosis blog, Lois Sharpe, a medical student, shares how she coped with the sudden loss of her father last [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":76,"featured_media":2685,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,46],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2684","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health-and-wellness","category-student-stories"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Coping With Sudden Loss in Medical School - Osmosis Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.osmosis.org\/blog\/coping-with-sudden-loss-in-medical-school\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Coping With Sudden Loss in Medical School - Osmosis Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Adjusting to the rigors of medical school is a challenging process. Imagine having to face one of the most difficult hurdles of your life during that adjustment: the sudden loss of a parent. 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