Knowledge Shot: Is Santa Claus at risk of a heart attack

Alright, real quick - ooh!

Osmosis videos often include famous people who have had a disease, and it’s for two reasons. One, it helps destigmatize having the disease; and two, it helps to serve as a memory anchor for remembering the specifics of the disease.

Today, we’re discussing one of the biggest celebrities of all: Santa Claus (ho, ho, ho!). Indeed, because of his age, his relationship with iconic brands such as Coca Cola, and his ability to pander to children with promises of presents - and to parents with threats of withholding those presents from their children for misbehavior - Santa Claus has become one of the most beloved and recognizable figures around the world.

While Santa Claus has never been known to have any serious illnesses or conditions, we’re concerned he might be a ticking time bomb for having a heart attack.

Much of what we know about this enigmatic cultural icon, including one of his many pseudonyms, comes from a single chance encounter with a scholar named Clement Clarke Moore in 1822, who chronicled the meeting in, “A Visit from St. Nicholas,” more popularly known as, “’Twas the Night Before Christmas.” As Moore recounts:

“His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow; The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath; He had a broad face and a little round belly, That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf.”

From this description, it’s clear Santa Claus has several of the key cardiovascular risk factors, which increases potential of having a heart attack.

Remember, heart attacks typically occur when an artery has plaque buildup, and that plaque suddenly breaks, blocking the blood from getting through and reaching the heart muscle. It's a bit like a plump individual getting stuck in a chimney and blocking the smoke from getting through to the night sky. This starves the heart tissue of nutrients and oxygen, causing cardiac ischemia, and eventually death of the heart tissue, called a myocardial infarction, or a heart attack.

The first risk factor is age. Santa is old; he had a white beard even two hundred years ago! So let's generously assume that he's at least two hundred and fifty years old. As we age, our blood vessels become less flexible, making it harder for blood to move through them easily. Think of an old garden hose that has become rigid over the years; those are Santa's blood vessels.